Despite my careful trickery, one of my friends shouted, Are you drinking NEAR BEER?!
with an incredulity that still haunts me.
The jig was up.
Daryna Zaichenko / Getty Images
Id been found out.
I couldnt risk near-beer outing me as an alcoholic again, so I kept drinking instead.
After the concert, I knew my relationship with alcohol needed to change, but I wasnt ready.
It took several more months ofhangover-inducedGoogle searches like, When do you know you have a drinking problem?
Symptoms of alcoholism, and How to quit drinking?
before I took an assessment for Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD).
Meeting at least 2 out of 11 criteria in a 12-month period qualifies for a diagnosis of AUD.
When you truly get to choose, she writes, you might even choose total, lifelong abstinence.
So I decided to give near-beer a second chance.
Zero-proof spirits often tout supposed health benefits and natural ingredients as an added reason to imbibe.
Even THC and CBD-laced beverage brands promote the drinks as a viable alternative to alcohol.
I thought treating alcoholism was pretty cut-and-dried (no pun intended).
You were either sober or you werent.
I love it when everyday moments are made extraordinary with a twist of lime.
Ultimately, alcohol substitutes let me party hearty without compromising my recovery.
But not everyone in the sobriety community sees their value.
The comment stung, twisting the pride I felt aboutmy recovery planinto shame.
When I asked about why people did or didnt drink alcohol substitutes, I noticed a harder line.
But those who used the language of Alcoholics Anonymous had strong negative feelings toward alcohol substitutes.
Alcohol substitutes arent a free-for-all, though.
Some survey respondents had strong negative feelings toward alcohol substitutes.
I wasnt drinking beer for the taste, and I dont want to taste whiskey that isnt real.
Others described mocktails as a tease, or explained staying away as a critical sobriety strategy.
Still, there seems to be a place in recovery for alcohol substitutes.
NA beer was crucial to me stopping alcohol, wroteEmma, an Indigenous artist from Ontario.
To feel like there is an option for you is amazing, he said.
It feels good to know establishments are thinking of you.
And Dr. Large explains that individualized treatment plans have become the norm in the recovery community.
Periodic abstinence and alcohol substitutes have created space for many to address the underlying issues of addiction.
Justin has noticed that talking about recovery draws unwanted attention.
I hate the term alcoholic, he adds.
Why do the ones who continue to drink go on without the flashing neon sign following them?
But equally isolating is the message that total abstinence is the only way to heal.
Today, Im an alcoholic in recovery.
