It was because I felt old.
To be clear, I’m not at all old.
I’m solidly in my 30s.
Which you and I both know is code for late 30s, which means nearly 39.
It found that 66 percent of women talk smack about their age or their looks in relationship to age.
What’s your secret?"
To test the prevalence of old talk, I roamed theSELFoffice looking for evidence.
Easy: It’s everywhere.
“First, I imagine that the twentysomething is just being a snot.
Then, I think, Maybe she isn’t!
She sees the crinkly lines around my eyes and the lines on my forehead!
I’ll never be a ‘miss’ again.”
At 28, beauty editor April Franzino no longer feels “young-young.”
“My friends and I talk about getting old constantly: ‘My hands look so wrinkly!’
‘We’re definitely the oldest people in this bar!’
‘We’re old and I’m still single!'”
Why all the grandma talk?
But unfortunately, that’s not true: Eighty-one percent of women still fat-talk.
“In generations past, you weresupposedto look different at age 50 than at 25,” she says.
“Now women are viewed as sex objects for a much greater portion of their life span.
The pressure to be hot hits as young as age 10 and into your 60s.”
With so many years-erasing choices, it’s easy to think that aging is for suckers.
The economy is a major factor in the rise of old talk.
“I hate being financially dependent on my parents.
It doesn’t help that my American Girl dolls are on display.
When I go to sleep, I imagine Molly is silently judging me!”
JD Rinne, 30,SELFWeb managing editor, agrees.
We’re terrified we’ll never live up to our expectations."
So why do we do it?
As in, “Oh, like, what wrinkles?
You do not look old!”
confirms we’re still attractive, healthy, even a hottie.
Of course, friends don’t always come through.
Sometimes they commiserate (“I know!
It’ll only get worse!").
Which may feel deflating, but empathy has bonding benefits.
And then there’s the pep talk, which happened 18 percent of the time in Becker’s study.
“Getting older is natural; it makes you infinitely more beautiful.”
Obviously, this level of self-dissatisfaction is extreme and unhealthy.
So what to do about that I’m-so-ancient blather?
You don’t have to quit.
It’s in our nature.
Which could provoke anxiety, says Jean Twenge, Ph.D., author ofGeneration Me.
Or you could use it to get informed about what you care most about and spur yourself into action.
There is as much power in taking charge of your life as there is in accepting the inevitable.
But the earlier ones are still in there25, 15 and 5 are all there.
Enjoy them, too!”
I think I will.Reporting by Monica Corcoran Harel
Photo Credit: Claire Benoist
