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Shes not afraid to mention loss or grief.
Miguel Herrera / Amanda K Bailey
So, she says, she chooses to focus on love.
SELF: Tell me about young Tunde.
What were you like growing up?
Tunde Oyeneyin:My parents emigrated from Nigeria to the United States.
I grew up in a Nigerian household, but when I went to school, I was American.
So I lived between these worlds, and so much of that shaped who I am.
I was plus-size growing up.
As a kid, the last thing you want to do is stand out.
I had low self-esteem and low confidence.
I felt like I was a very extroverted person living in an introverted persons body.
I was outgoing but I never wastoooutgoing because then people would see me.
And if they saw me, theyd see how big I was.
You were a successful makeup artist for several years.
Can you describe the moment when you decided to teach cycling?
Id worked my butt off, landed my dream job, and I hated it.
Three minutes into class, Im in a state of euphoria.
Im in this other world.
I leave the class, Im walking back to the hotel, and my walk turns into a skip.
Then Im laughing and crying.
I have this vision, this wave of energy moves through my body from my fingers to my toes.
I see it all so clearly.
I knew that I was going to be cycling for the rest of my life.
I knew that Id be teaching it.
And I knew that I would touch the world doing it.
You auditioned for Peloton but didnt get the job at first.
How did you face that disappointment?
I believe that everythings happeningforyou, nottoyou.
At first, when I didnt get the job, it felt like a tragedy.
There was a period when I felt completely disheartened and so confused.
Still, I trusted that everything was going according to plan.
I trust that when things dont go my way, theyre still going my way.
I was not supposed to get the job the first time around.
I dont know that I would have fully shown up as Tunde had that happened.
I know that I started exactly when I was supposed to start.
How did you create a space that was both challenging and inviting for participants?
I think the truth always wins when the truth is walking in on the back of love.
The intention was love.
My friends describe me as a bridge.
I watched my mother be a bridge.
I watched my fathers charisma, the way that he was able to invite people in and connect people.
It shaped how Icommunicate in difficult conversations.
When you make people feel targeted, they stop listening.
It doesnt mean that you cant be purposeful and tell the truth.
If you stop them at the front door, they never walk in.
I am a devout Tunde follower, but you cant be everyones favorite.
Do other peoples opinions of you ever get under your skin?
There are people who hate Coldplay.
Coldplay is one of the greatest bands in the world.
Beyonce is one of the greatest performers in the world, and there are people who hate Beyonce.
There are people who hate Oprah Winfrey!
If Im sitting there worrying about and crying about what other people think about me, Im being nosy.
Id rather put my focus on love.
What does self-care look like for you?
I call it soul care.
I think that when you call it self-care, people may look at it as a luxury.
Thats not a privilege.
I think sometimes its just a matter of saying no.
You have to protect your soul.
We have to talk about your hair.
What led you to cut your hair last year?
I wanted to cut my hair for like 20 years.
I kept putting it off.
I didnt know who I was without a weave.
Especially as a Black woman, your hair can very often frame how people see you.
So I was nervous to cut my hair off because I didnt know how itd be received.
I finally woke up one day and was like, Im doing it!
We often hide behind our hair.
So when I cut off my hair, I felt like I could see all of me.
Why did you write this book now?
Then one day you wake up and you stop believing the lies that you tell yourself.
Trusting my gut led me to this exact moment.
Thats my hope for anyone who picks up the book.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
