Harper Laika Leeloo, DDS, was the best-worst dog that ever lived.
She was 50 pounds of pure terror packed into a 10-pound body.
She was more fluff than actual pup.
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She was also a genetic nightmare of inbreeding that led to a plethora of health issues.
Derek is a veterinarian.
He listened first, expecting the lub-dub, lub-dub of a healthy heart.
Harper, the best-worst dog
I watched his eyes widen in surprise.
Derek took her in for x-rays the next day and came back with bad news.
She was seriously sick.
CHF is a terminal illness.
The timetable for the end varies from animal to animal, but death is a certainty.
Eventually, the heart simply cannot do its job any more.
Left to its own devices, the heart gives way and the animal suffocates in their own fluids.
Spoiler alert for this whole story: The dog definitely dies.
A little more than six months later, she had deteriorated a great deal.
We set a date and began the surreal experience of counting down the days until our appointment.
Much to her chagrin, we bathed her.
In the morning, we didnt drive to the veterinary office to have someone else perform the euthanasia.
I carefully snipped the roses from their stems and arranged them around her.
I slipped a final bone beneath her front paws, tucked into a tiny bouquet.
She looked beautiful, so I even took some memento mori photos.
One hour later, we sat together in the car, holding hands.
A small wooden box filled with her cremated remains sat in my lap as we drove back home.
We parked in front of our apartment.
In the quiet of the silenced car, we turned to look at each other.
It was as if an actual lightbulb had suddenly blinked on, illuminating both of us.
We should help other people through this, I declared.
We should do this for a living.
We had the credentials, though.
I went on to become a mortician.
We promised her a good life, and a good life includes a dignified death.
All pets should have the same.
The difficult inevitability of living with and loving a pet is the reality of their death.
More often than not, euthanasia is the way our pets die.
We call this the compassionate death time frame.
Before that, no ethical veterinarian will choose to euthanize your pet, he continues.
The morning of her euthanasia, Harper was too fatigued to even eat breakfast.
The very act of standing up to cross the room left her worn out.
Death is a general trend downward, Derek explains.
In many ways, deciding to euthanize on a good day is not only reasonable but loving.
Most people are familiar with the idea of bringing theirpetsto their veterinarians clinic for the euthanasia procedure.
(More on that below.)
In addition to being sad, euthanizing at the vet can be awkward.
(A business cant afford to lose an entire room to a grieving family for the whole day.)
The vast majority of in-home pet euthanasia practitioners attempt to ensure their costs are comparable to other clinics.
Most brick-and-mortar veterinary clinics will have a list of in-home practitioners that they can recommend to you.
In-home visits remove the stress that can be associated with the hospital setting.
Obviously, Im a proponent of the in-home process, but not to the exclusion of all veterinary clinics.
In-home euthanasia practices work as an adjunct for veterinary clinics.
Any veterinarian who makes you feel rushedin-home or in-officeis not giving you the care you deserve.
You have every right to find a different veterinarian if you dont feel emotionally safe.
Decision-making is always easier when done in the coolheadedness of before rather than the emotional rush of after.
The two most common options for disposition of a pets body are burial or cremation.
Choosing burial is usually about having access to land.
Many other pet owners select cremation as the final disposition for their pets.
Cremationthe process of using high heat to reduce a body down to ash and boneis typically fairly inexpensive.
Families have the option to have their pet cremated as part of a group or individually.
Group cremations are exactly what they sound like: a group of pets bodies are cremated together.
Typically, cremated remains are not returned to the family but may be respectfully scattered by the crematory.
Other people feel adamant that having their pets returned is an integral part of the mourning process.
The body is essentially broken down to its chemical components over the course of four to six hours.
This process is touted as being more environmentally friendly than cremation.
Its currently legal in 16 U.S. states and some Canadian provinces.
At-home euthanasia grants families the opportunity to memorialize and hold a funeral for their pet.
), the funeralization process is deeply important to our emotional health and well-being.
It gives us a place for the spiritual aspect of our grief too.
There are many ways to make the euthanasia process meaningfully ceremonial.
For us, the funeral involved our favorite music and preparing Harpers body for cremation.
Think about who you want to be there in the moment, before, during, and after.
Here, too, you might decide on what level of inclusion you want for kids and other pets.
As part of this, we can make the actual appointment as comfortable as possible for our pets.
It had recently been discontinued.
All too often, pets whose families leave spend the process fighting the sedation and searching for them.
Death is hard enough without regret.
As Ive said before, death is the appointment you cant cancel.
It is an inherent part of life.
It erases the uncertainty of ignorance and grants stability to a topic that can often feel uncertain.
It is a kindness, not a cruelty.
For both of you.
