Facial moisturizer, foot moisturizer, and everywhereand I do goddamn meaneverywherein between.

But suddenly a report comes out from the American Heart Association that,whaaa?

USA Today reported that coconut oil has never been healthy.

Repeated Coconuts Cracked on a lime green and pink background

Al1974ex/Getty Images

This is after years of everyone and their mom calling it healthy.

Allow me to help.

Mono, poly, and saturated, oh my!

Image may contain Human Person and Text

These include monounsaturated, polyunsaturated, and saturated.

The evidence at this point isa little nebulouson which fats directly contribute to heart problems.

Its been shown that switchingsaturated fatsout for unsaturated fats canreduce your risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD) significantly.

But that is only true in a practical sense when you take into account the rest of your diet.

As part of a healthy diet, choosing unsaturated fats over saturated fats will reduce your CVD risk.

One tablespoon of coconut oil has about 14 grams of fat, nearly 12 of which are saturated fat.

Because really, since when is saturated fat is bad for you new information?

Come the fuck on.

This did not suddenly change the information we have on saturated fats.

This was information we had for a long time.

And, yeah, maybe it was, but thats not because scientists and doctors didnt understand coconut oil.

Its because you were basically tricked into thinking its Gods gift to Whole Foods.

Specifically, a marketing campaign featuring Rihanna from beverage manufacturer Vita Coco made someoverblown health claims for coconut water.

If youre aiming to stay hydrated for endurance activities, relying on sports drinks might be a better bet.

If youre thirsty, justdrink something.)

Years ago I read about a model saying she would eat a few tablespoons of coconut oil daily.

Can you imagine, a model eating fat?

It must work as a weight-loss miracle!

Even I bought a jar.

Coconut oil caught a ride on the green wave, too.

Doesnt it seem less processed than the other fats?

Smelling like the beach doesnt make coconut oil healthier than other fats, and it never has.

We have to be reasonable.

Coconuts are saturated fats, but as far as saturated fats go, this one isnt the worst.

You might also like: 6 Coconut Oil Beauty Hacks You’ll Actually Want to Try