So my workouts during pregnancy continued to focus on these things.
And then I was thrust into the new role of being a parent, andpostpartum lifehappened.
I was engulfed in before-and-after images of sculpted abs, slender thighs, and muscular arms.
Amanda K Bailey
They were doing handstands andrunning fast miles, and they had glamorous photos to prove it.
This wasmypicture of motherhood.
During this extremely vulnerable time in my life, I found these posts to be devastating.
And that really surprised me.
I had never fallen into a comparison trap, but I suddenly found myself in this position.
Allow yourself time to grieve your pre-mom life.
Instead, I was mourning the loss of my own pre-pregnancy life.
The important thing, Bellenbaum says, is to allow yourself grace as you navigate these changes.
The first step is to be self-compassionate and accepting of yourself, she says.
Appreciate your body and its ability to take care of your baby.
Like many people who have given birth, I struggled withbreastfeedingmy daughter and supplemented with formula.
At first, I felt like I had failed as a mom.
For many people, giving birth is a traumatic experienceboth physically and emotionallyand not everyone is able to breastfeed.
you better call upon some self-compassion and grace toward your body and what its able to do.
Recognize that social media doesnt show the full picture of someones life.
Its really important to think, What is the meaning for someone whos posting?
I sometimes ask myself this when I see posts that [seem] so unbelievable.
It makes me wonder, what is this post doing for that person?
Fill your feeds with like-minded people.
Instead, I immersed myself in Instagram accounts and communities that allowed me to feel seen and heard.
Ask for help so you could find time to reconnect to your passions.
This is often easier said than done, thoughunless you ask for help.
We need to be able to advocate for what we want and need, Bellenbaum says.
Its really easy when youre a parent to let your interests fall by the wayside.
But its important to do things that are fulfilling to you.
It may be small, but it can be very helpful and meaningful.
Dont let societys norms dictate your postpartum journey.
In reporting this piece, I realized that snapback culture has infiltrated our society more than I initially thought.
Case in point:Maternity leaveremains woefully inadequate in the U.S.
But newly postpartum parents are often not readyphysically and mentallyto dive right into exercise.
Embracing this fact has helped free me from expectations that I should be working out.
Thats where self-compassion comes in, Bellenbaum says.
Youre learning how to be a mom right now; thats what youre doing.
At seven months postpartum, this is all still a work in progress.
And you dont have to have an outside job to be a working mom.
