Full disclosure: Imsleeping withmy ex.
)reached out a few months ago to reestablish a much-missed friendship.
Then things got physical, and apparently The Ex and I aren’t alone.
Tord Sollie / Unsplash; Social credit: Castle Rock Entertainment
But at the same time, people want to be connected to another person in some limited way.
So, we go to dinner.
We make out in bars.
We spend evenings at the ballet.
We Netflix and chill over Jimmy Fallon movies.
We share long philosophical conversations about life and marriage and emotional intelligence and success.
We spend the night.
Given that we’ve dated before, it may sound like we’re heading toward something more serious.
In reality, The Ex and I actually beingtogetherhasnt been an option in this iteration of our relationship.
Unsurprisingly, one of the major advantages has to do with sex.
“And who better to explore with than a friend?
Who cares if they think your latestsex fantasyis weird?
Removingcommitmentfrom the equation can add an element of liberation in the bedroom and beyond.
Luckily in todays modern era of dating, there’s no shortage of potential sex partners.
It could be something really healthy.
So, yes, it’s possible for you to be friends with benefits.
And maybe you actually should be!
Im not sleeping with my ex because I want hassle-free sex.
Im sleeping with a person whose company I actually enjoyI want his pillow talk as much as his foreplay.
The success of my situation hinges on the fact that my ex and I are both in transition.
I dont have the time/energy/desire to devote to sifting through a pile of suitors and ultimately starting a newrelationship.
Obviously, that wont always be the case for both of us.
And when our circumstances change, it will be time for us to reevaluate together.
Its like an emotional seesaw, says Sloane.
Its a very temporary state thats tricky to balance.
That brings up the third and most important requirement for this key in of relationship…
In our culture, we tend to view that as kind of unsexy.
Yet its really critical to slow down and have those kind of conversations, says Lundquist.
What happens if one of us starts to think about getting back together for real?
What happens if one of us starts seeing someone else?
What does this relationship look like if one of us ends up moving?
Each of you needs to be vigilant about sharing if or when you feel hurt.
