I thought he seemed blase about improving our lifestyle; he thought my harping over money was annoying.
The key: Learn to talk about money concerns the right way and you’ll trade conflict for canoodling.
Download SELF’sHow to Talk About Money Without Arguing
Pick Your Moment
Bad day at work?
Don’t cave in to the urge to vent about your mate’s $300 worth of music downloads.
Instead, bring up the issue when you’recalm and focused.
No calm moments in your day?
Make a money date for the near future.
(“I’m nervous about retirement.")
Then state your wish.
(“I’d love to see if we’re saving enough.")
The point isn’t to convert your partner but to know where you’re both coming from.
“Your feelings are always percolating below the surface.
If you ignore them, they’ll cause trouble,” she says.
In my home, money was cause for anxiety; there was always the drive to earn more.
To him, my striving smacked of materialism.
Once we understood each other, we both felt less defensive.
That’s been good for our bank account, my peace of mind and our marriage.
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