Serena Williamsdominated headlines on Wednesday when she revealed that shes20 weeks pregnant.
The message is completely sexist, archaic, and wrong on so many levels, but its not uncommon.
I should knowI went through a similar experience, and I actually bought into it for a while.
Korin Miller
She was a mother, too, and totally got it.
But then, she left for a new job a few months before I was due.
My new boss wasnt the most family-friendly person, but I was assured that everything would continue as normal.
I came back frommaternity leavea pariah.
The message was clear: I had a kid; therefore, I didnt matter.
Suddenly, my ideas werent cool anymore and I became known as the mom around the office.
(Someone senior to me once thanked me for having tissues at my desk.
I knew you would because youre a mom, she said.)
My title was still the same, but everyone knew my positionand standingwas marginalized.
Youre raising a babythats what you should focus on, one family member told me.
Never mind that no one told my husband, who is a chef, the same thing.
Work continued as usual for him, while my career was sliding backward.
Maybe I should think of work as just a job, I thought to myself.
Id have more time with the baby, and thats what really matters.
My job doesnt make me who I am, I declared at the time.
Youre doing the right thing for your family, my mom assured me.
I was OK with it for about a month…and then I had a total breakdown.
What did I do?
I cried to my husband one night.
I want my oldcareerand life back.
To his credit, he was supportive.
So, I did.
I did mind-numbing work for eight hours a day, keeping an eye on the clock the whole time.
I lasted more than a year before I couldnt take it anymore.
I had started writing again on the side and realized how much I missed my old career.
So I started to think about the possibility of going out on my own.
I did the math and figured that I could make a living as a freelancer.
I also decided to launch my own SEO company at the same time.
And then I put in my notice.
Its been two years and Im so incredibly thankful to be back doing what I love.
I had another baby nine months ago and only took two weeks off from work after he was born.
But I realized at some point that I matter, too.
But in the end it all worked out.
I’m back to the career I love and living in a more family-friendly town.
I’m happyandmy kids are happyand that’s what really matters.
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