It’s common to wonder whether talking to yourself is normal.
Let me be the first to tell youit’s what got me through the pandemic.
Three years ago following a routine sinus surgery, I woke up to blindinghead pain.
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My surgeon assured me it was temporary, but months passed and the pain endured.
I quit my job and moved in with my parents, who took me to countless specialists.
Throughout the next year I tried several treatments, fromBotoxto nerve blocks and even experimental medication.
While marginally helpful, nothing really worked until my longtime psychiatrist suggested somatic therapy.
In doing so, somatic therapy is meant to explore and bridge the connection between body and mind.
Prior to starting therapy, that connection, for me, was nonexistent.
Whether overloading my schedule or not taking care of acold, I had ignored my body my entire life.
I also practiced visualizing my pain as a wall and dismantling it brick by brick.
At first, none of these coping mechanisms seemed to work.
I struggled with them for six months and inevitably felt frustrated.
You cant undo 20 years of behavior in a few months, my therapist reminded me.
And that involved speaking to ithaving actual conversations with my body.
Approach it like any new relationship, my therapist said in total seriousness.
take a stab at ask questions to get to know it better.
So, I started talking to myself.
But according to my therapist, not everyone is told to simply talk to themselves.
At first, I was reluctant.
I asked my body audibly, How are you feeling?
Often, my body would flood with anxiety or freeze up with stress.
When that happened, Id ask, What do it’s crucial that you get to feel more relaxed?
I would wait and listen, then act on what my body said back to me.
If my body felt tired, I wouldnap.
If I wasanxious, I wouldmeditate.
If I needed more information about what my body needed, I asked follow-up questions.
The first week of quarantine, debilitating migraines and anxiety made it impossible for me to work.
To cope, I began talking with my body for 30 minutes up to six times a day.
To others, even patients of somatic therapy, this may seem like a lot.
So I started meditating twice a day for 30 minutes to an hour, and takingdaily long walks.
Yes, this all might sound extremely straightforwardand its a technique almost anyone can try for themselves.
However, that doesnt mean you cant employ elements of somatic therapy practiceslike that of basic mindfulnesson your own.
If youd like to try talking to yourself, Dr. Bird recommends a simplified version of the conversation technique.
At the same time each day, ask yourself, How is my body feeling?
Does it feel energetic, fatigued, relaxed?
Then note your response.
Dr. Bird also emphasizes that its important to be patient with yourself along the way.
“We arent taught to feel through our bodies, she says.
You have to experience it.”
Someone else in somatic therapy might have a completely different timeline.
It completely depends on the person and what they are trying to work through.
Trying to connect to yourself can be especially difficult when were (still!)
living in suchabnormal times.
If a practice like this feels odd for a whileor like it doesnt work at allthats more than okay.
There are other ways to get in touch with your body throughmindfulnessormeditation.
If its feasible for you,therapyis always a great place to start too.
