Knowing how to offer comfort and support to a loved one who has a terminal illness can be challenging.
What can you say or do?
How can you help your loved one cope?
How will you deal with your own grief?
Get the facts about supporting a loved one who is terminally ill.
Your relationship with your loved one might not necessarily change because he or she has a terminal illness.
If you’re concerned, take a stab at build on your relationship’s strengths.
It’s also important to be open to new possibilities.
A loved one’s terminal diagnosis might improve your relationship.
Or unresolved conflicts might present new challenges.
Even if it feels as if you’re not doing anything, your presence sends an important message.
Don’t, however, venture to be a counselor.
Dying isn’t a science.
It might not happen that way.
But does your loved one have to accept that he or she has a terminal illness?
There’s no right or wrong way to come to terms with death.
Denial is an important coping mechanism.
Your loved one might be afraid of pain.
Your loved one might also fear failing family or becoming a burden to others.
This can be most effectively handled by a professional who has expertise in the care of the dying.
Examples of professionals in this area include hospice, palliative care nurses, physicians, and social workers.
Clergy may also be of great help if religion is important to the patient.
you’re able to encourage your loved one to talk about his or her life.
For instance, ask your loved one to talk about how he or she met his or her mate.
You might be amazed at the stories your loved one has to share.
Consider recording your conversations as a way of honoring the memory of your loved one.
Keep in mind that your loved one is still the same person he or she was before becoming ill.
Your loved one will likely still have the same needs, desires, and interests.
Start by asking your loved one what he or she would want.
Most people wish to die with family nearby, but others might prefer to go privately.
Let the dying person be your guide.
Keeping a vigil by your loved one before his or her death can be a sacred experience.
Remember, however, that keeping a vigil can be exhausting.
Constant, physical presence is not required as part of being loving and supportive.
Also, understand that you might not be at your loved one’s side when he or she dies.
The timing of your loved one’s death is beyond your control.
Sometimes it might appear that your loved one is having trouble letting go.
Grief is a natural response to loving and feeling loss that often comes in waves.
Emotions can sometimes feel overwhelming, making even simple tasks difficult.
It doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to function for the rest of your life.
Right now you oughta grieve.
Keep in mind that grief doesn’t necessarily begin when your loved one dies.
The grieving process can begin as your loved one’s illness progresses or normal roles change.
Hospice or palliative care experts can be a great resource.
After your loved one dies, you might question whether you did enough or said the right things.
Guilt is a normal part of grieving.
Often, we come to peace and guilt gradually fades.
Updated: 2015-09-09
Publication Date: 2004-05-10
