Because of my weight, they dont see my happiness.
In response, my friend messaged me a link to Tess Hollidays Instagram page.
She hugs me when she arrives.
Catherine Servel. Wardrobe Styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Christian Marc at Forward Artists using R and Co.. Makeup: Kristin Hilton at The Wall Group. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty. On Tess: Dress by Topshop. Tights and underwear are vintage. Earrings by Leigh Miller.
Im so sorry Im late!
Im never like this.
I hate being late.
Catherine Servel. Wardrobe Styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Christian Marc at Forward Artists using R and Co.. Makeup: Kristin Hilton at The Wall Group. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty. On Tess: Swimsuit by Cynthia Rowley.
More than beautiful, Holliday looks fascinating.
Her hair is a bright shade of red, with warm undertones and understated highlights that make it gleam.
It reminds me of Jessica Rabbits hair, but with better conditioner.
Catherine Servel. Wardrobe Styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Christian Marc at Forward Artists using R and Co.. Makeup: Kristin Hilton at The Wall Group. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty. On Tess: Swimsuit is Vintage. Dress is stylist’s bespoke.
The plan is for us to sit down for an interview before spending some time together wandering around Adventureland.
Her kids will be joining her later.
Shes rightthe chicken is amazing.
Catherine Servel. Wardrobe Styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Christian Marc at Forward Artists using R and Co.. Makeup: Kristin Hilton at The Wall Group. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty. On Tess: Top, underwear and skirt are vintage. Earrings by Ariana Boussard-Reifel.
Of course, these folks dont know how healthy you are or arent.
But they are determined to help you.
People should mind their own business.
Catherine Servel. Wardrobe Styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Christian Marc at Forward Artists using R and Co.. Makeup: Kristin Hilton at The Wall Group. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty. On Tess: Top, underwear and skirt are vintage. Shoes by Ancient Greek Sandals. Earrings by Ariana Boussard-Reifel.
They, too, experienced plenty of concern trolls.
But their responses to these commentersat least the responses that I noticedall focused on health.
Things like, You dont know if Im healthy or not.
Catherine Servel. Wardrobe Styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Christian Marc at Forward Artists using R and Co.. Makeup: Kristin Hilton at The Wall Group. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty. On Tess: Dress by Topshop. Tights and underwear are vintage. Shoes by Charlotte Stone. Earrings by Leigh Miller.
Or, I go to the doctor.
But now she takes a different approach.
But Hollidays philosophy is to refuse to play along at all.
Catherine Servel. Wardrobe Styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Christian Marc at Forward Artists using R and Co.. Makeup: Kristin Hilton at The Wall Group. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty. On Tess: Swimsuit by Cynthia Rowley.
Dont treat it like concern, because its not.
Holliday is mostly in good spirits at Disneyland.
She has no such complaints at Disneyland.
Catherine Servel. Wardrobe Styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Christian Marc at Forward Artists using R and Co.. Makeup: Kristin Hilton at The Wall Group. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty. On Tess: Dress by Topshop. Tights and underwear are vintage. Earrings by Leigh Miller.
Her life story is compelling enough to write a book about, and she did.
Holliday became the face of the show in a promotional campaign that followed.
Around the same time, she became a finalist for Torrids House of Dreams model search.
Thats how Ryann Maegen Hoven became Tess Munster, and later, Tess Holliday.
My life was shitty, but it’s also really great now, she says.
I feel really fortunate to be able to do what I love for a living.
And to have gone through everything I have in life.
I wouldn’t change any of it.
That gratitude is clearas is her self-awareness.
She believes shes been given a lot of opportunities that her counterparts of color havent.
She wouldnt say its all luck, and neither would I.
But shes not blind.
There is more room for plus-size women of many shapes, colors, and gender identities on the runways.
Most of them are women of color, which is incredibly frustrating.
I like to buy clothes from people that actually give a shit about my body and about plus bodies.
That makes me happy.
(you’re free to see a list of plus-size fashion brands Holliday recommends here.)
I don’t want to go to any of those stores anyways, she says.
I’ll just buy cute stuff online.
She says modeling changed her relationship with fashion and, in a way, with her own self-esteem.
She marvels at how her relationship with her body has changed over time.
[My arms are] the one of part of my body I still struggle with, she says.
Its clear that Holliday plays the role of caretaker among her friends and family.
But then, I bring him his medicine every morning.
And she relies a lot on her husband.
Nick was doing it actually on the way here.
When you get to a certain level people just assume you’re okay all the time, she says.
So because of that, people don’t invite me to stuff.
Holliday says shes also sought personal and professional guidance to help treat her post-partum depression.
I’ve started taking medication for my depression, she says.
I have a life coach who has been extremely helpful and supportive.
To Holliday, this is the conversation about health thats actually worth having.
Most others, well, arent.
To assist with these life changes and help herself feel better mentally, Holliday has also begun eating differently.
I feel guilty, she says.
The amount of people [who] get thrust into the limelight and they’re plus size?
The more successful they get, the more weight they lose.
It’s hard because those people don’t owe staying fat to anyone.
I’ve [thought this about] many people, where you’re like, Is it their choice?
Were they pressured [into losing weight]?
Still, this is a very personal decision for her.
And what taking care of herself looks like is no ones business but her own.
That’s what’s great.
It’s my body.
Ashley C. Ford lives in Brooklyn by way of Indiana.
