It goes WHERE?
So the woman on the pamphlet looks so happy and that little white T seems innocent enough.
But I’m not clear on how it’s going to live in my UTERUS???
I thought that was an exclusive club for little embryos.
But once it’s in, I don’t have to do anything?
No more phone alarms for taking my pill or worrying about broken condoms.
And, more importantly, helloooo 99.8% effectiveness.
So many nerves for this doctor’s appointment.
Like, first-time gyno appointment nervous.
I’m just going to lay back on this nice, comfy table and think happy thoughts.
This is a perfect excuse to use those yoga breathing techniques.
In, out, om.
This must be what childbirth feels likein reverse.
Yup, that definitely feels different from anything that’s been in there before.
I changed my mind!
I’ll use pills instead, forget I ever asked for this!
There is something clawing its way through my uterus and it’s NOT OK.
I AM FREAKING OUT.
Wait, actually, nevermind.
Wow, that really did only take five minutes.
I kept my cool.
Near death experience over.
This must be what it feels like to be part robot.
I’m very acutely aware of the fact that there is something foreign inside me.
Oh god, what if it falls out?
Is that a thing that can happen?
Must resist the urge to Google.
I have never felt so un-sexy.
I think my lady bits have PTSD.
And thesecramps, though.
Am I honestly supposed to be able to feel those strings?
Is anyone able to do this, or do I just have chicken nugget fingers?
OK, now that a few days have passed… this is actually great.
Dying of laughter.
And a little of embarrassment.
What’s good, little sperms?
You don’t haveanythingon Princess Leia, queen of my uterus and blocker of the Storm Troopers.
(Because you don’t really have an IUD until you name it, right?)
