In that case, like accept my virtual applause.
But if youre not there yet, thats perfectly OK too.
Maybe youre at a loss for words when your partner asks what you need.
Ryan Segedi. Prop styling by JoJo Li.
Either way, youre in great company.
The fears of being vulnerable or bruising a partners ego can be high-key overwhelming.
Clients regularly tell me this strategy has helped them have a more satisfying time in bed.
Below are the reasons why this simple approach can be highly effective.
It can be a less daunting way to express your needs.
Expressing how you want tofeelmight be an easier way into the conversation.
A lot of us have shame about oursexual desires.
Our egos are often wrapped up in our sexuality.
Its important to be gentle with our partners so that everyone can have a positive sexual experience.
This goes both ways.
As long as everything is consensual, youre entitled to enjoy yourself as much as possible during sex.
But looping in the feelings topic can still make those experiences better as well.
It can subvert sexual knowledge gaps.
Many of us dont have the vocabulary to properly articulate what we want in bed.
This is often in direct opposition to being able to ask for specific sexual techniques.
Sex is, for the most part, viewed as this embarrassing thing we shouldnt discuss openly.
Plenty of us only figured out how to have an orgasm in some accidental way.
(I still hold my old showerhead in the highest regard.)
That brings me to my next point.
It can help you explore your sexuality.
Not only that, you have to learn to feel comfortable with your desires.
So really give it some thought: What are the feelings youre craving duringsex?
How could your partner make those feelings a reality?
This kind of thought process opens the door for experimentation on your own.
Bringing up sexual feelings with your partner nudges it open even further.
In this way, explaining how you want to feel can evoke excitement and possibility.
Its a great method of broadening your sexual horizons.
Ask your partner how they want to feel too.
Talking about how each of you wishes to feel can start you down a path to better sexual communication.
It might feel weird at first, but I really do recommend it.
