When I was 17, every time I got my period I experienced nausea-inducing, life-stopping cramps.
I needed helptreatment, pain management, anythingso I could go through a cycle without missing school or work.
Today Im a stereotypically fit personal trainer.
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But back then I weighed over 300 pounds.
I was nervous walking into the gynecologists office.
It was my first visit.
Courtesy of Jes Baker
She asked me if I was sexually activeI wasntand then asked me why I was there.
My cramps are so bad that I cry and get sick to my stomach.
I cant stand up straight.
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I need help."
My mom had told me how horrible internal exams were.
I hated getting blood drawn.
Courtesy of Hanne Blank
I braced for which would come first.
But she just looked me up and down.
Lose weight, she said, like she was stating the obvious.
Courtesy of Patty Nece
I said, confused, suddenly embarrassed.
Lose weight and it will get better.
I looked down at my lap.
Wasnt she curious about what was going on inside me?
Wasnt she worried it might be something serious?
Nothing that hurts that bad can be nothing, can it?
I looked back at her.
She looked bored and vaguely annoyed.
I didnt know I deserved better care.
Suddenly, my symptoms seemed trivial, andI felt ashamed of myself and my body.
But Id been dieting since I was a kid.
Maybe, I thought, she had a weight loss solution that would work better.
It doesnt matter how, but you need tolose 100 poundsand you oughta do it fast.
It doesnt matter how I lose weight?
That didnt sound right.
Any weight loss method would be healthier than being that big.
She walked out of the room.
She hadnt even touched me.
For years after that, I rarely went to a doctor.
Later, at the emergency room, they discovered she had a pulmonary embolism and needed anticoagulants.
Shes lucky to be alive.
Their experiences are telling.
I havepolycystic ovarian syndrome, and that needs to be checked out.
It is also medically worthless.
Its especially true because it will make them less likely to come back.
I was sent to an orthopedist.
I started to cry and said to him Youre not even listening to me.
The only thing youre seeing is my weight.
In his report to my primary care physician, the orthopedists diagnosis was obesity pain.
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