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This essay was guest-edited byIjeoma Oluo, a Seattle-based writer, speaker and Internet yeller.
Getty / Tara Moore; Design / Morgan Johnson
She has been the editor at large at The Establishment since 2015.
Her NYT best-selling first book,So You Want to Talk About Race, was released January 2018.
To see the other essays in this series, check them outhere,here, andhere.
The way we talk about our bodies has changed.
Can you feel it?
Teenage me, the shade of her I still carry, cracks and cries with relief.
I dont have to be sorry?
I dont have to shrink myself?
Its like science fiction.
But still, I think, there is some confusion.
The way we talk about our bodies has changed.
But what are we doing?
We all agree that this is no way to live.
We are united and defiant.
We follow Crossfit journeys on Instagram and pretend the shrinking waistlines dont press on our pleasure centers.
Its finally okay to have a giant butt.
And a tiny waist.
And a flat stomach.
Long hair and light skin and perfect white teeth.
Wow, what a relief.
Theres a reason why I prefer fat positivity to body positivity.
Fat positivity isnt a subcategory of body positivity; it is a prerequisite.
Were supposed to be hot in all the old ways while appearing liberated in the new ones.
We havent de-fetishized subtraction; weve just started calling it addition.
The result and, Ill contend, the goal itself, is often the same.
But, truly, that is fine.
I enjoy yogurt as well.
The percentage is not zero.
Its infinitely harder to do all of that within a system that rewards some bodies and punishes others.
Here is what I want for you: You dont have to do this perfectly.
Do everything you’re able to to break that cycle for the next generation.
Believe that you will be okay even if you get fat.
Remember that is not better to be thin than to be fat: not morally, not aesthetically.
Think about that until you really believe it.
We are on the first step, not the last.
Lindy West is a contributing opinion writer for theNew York Times.
Her first book, a memoir called Shrill, was released in 2016 byHachette Books.
