I wanted to resume my life as I had before all that happened.
so I shouldnt have to ignore it out of embarrassment or some feeling that I should just be grateful.
Felder was 25 when she was diagnosed and began treatment for cervical cancer.
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[Sex] felt like someone taking a hammer to it.
Another issue holding her back was the stigma of cervical cancer being linked to sexual activity.
She has since learned that this was a self-defeating view.
We need good treatment.
But what will our quality of life be like after this treatment?"
So they take it a bit easier and check that that sex is still pleasurable for both of them.
I tell my husband sometimes, OK, gently!
That is my new normal now after cancer.
It doesnt sound sexy, but its my reality.
One of their main goals: to help each other reclaim their sexuality after cancer.
We should redefine what sex means for us.
Were all sexual beings, Felder says.
You go through this life-altering experience and then you cant have a good orgasm?
“I believe gynecological cancers, especially, create vulnerability in women like nothing else.
After chemo and radiation, she says that she felt a significant loss in her sex drive.
I basically wanted to be back to normal, and I quickly realized that doesnt happen, she says.
I felt like I didnt know how to go about asking either.
I wasnt sure if it was just me.
Mine is Prince Harry, she jokes.
Theres no area on Tinder to adequately explain these kinds of issues when youre trying to meet someone.
I was sewed up like a Barbie!
Intimacy goes a little deeper.
To us, its not just about sex, its about the connection we have on an emotional level.
And for the physical part, we found a groove.
You dont need intercourse to have sex.
A labia is a lovely thing!”
As Lacey explains, it’s still possible to reach climax through oral sex and masturbation.
I think a lot of us look at ourselves as not just physically scarred, but emotionally.
Its hard to get past what weve lost physically, she says.
You never go back to being your old self.
Those emotional and physical scars stay with you.
Sexual problems after cancer dont usually go away by themselves without getting some professional help, she says.
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