Lindsay Norris titled the letter Dear every cancer patient I ever took care of, Im sorry.
I didnt get it, and her message is a powerful one.
I didnt get what it felt like to actually hear the words, she wrote.
Norris with her husband, Camden, and her children, Evelyn and Harrison. Courtesy of the subject.
I didnt get why you were always suspicious.
We shared the percentages and stats with youand that everycanceris different…but stillis there something more?
Something they were protecting you from or just felt too bad to tell you?
Courtesy of the subject.
Logically, I know the answer to this but find myself with these feelings as well.
I didnt get it.
Norris also says she regrets not asking her patients more about their children.
I didnt get how much you worried about your kids, she wrote.
I shouldve talked to you more about themand not just in terms of lifting restrictions orgerms.
You worried about how this was going to affect them.
You worried theyd be scarred and confused.
You worried about leaving them.
I didnt get it.
Even if I didnt get it.
Licensed clinical psychologistAlicia H. Clark, Psy.D., agrees.
In those times, it can be especially helpful to reiterate that you’re not going anywhere.
Don’t be afraid to ask them how they are doing and listen wholeheartedly, Clark says.
Let them know how much you care about them and that you could handle their feelings.
This is useful because sometimes people withcancerwould rather bottle up their emotions than share them.
Plus, they often just makeyoufeel betternot the patient.
Unfortunately, these statements are often experienced as dismissive, and even offensive.
Its also important to provide practical support, Coleman says.
Above all, just be there for them.
This is love in action, and this is the best thing we can do to help.
Related:
Watch: How I Discovered I Had Breast Cancer As A Young Woman
