My relationship withbrasis complicated.
But in college, my relationship with bras shifted as I realized I was bisexual/queer.
I, like seemingly every other queer girl with access toNetflix, became obsessed withThe L Word.
Courtesy of Rachel Charlene Lewis
For me, going braless became a way for me to signal my queerness.
I stopped wearing bras about five years ago, and I haven’t looked back.
To me, the binding wires and molded fabric feel oppressive.
Courtesy of Rachel Charlene Lewis
This is a common sentiment among my friends.
I got rid of all my other bras when I came home because they didnt feel right anymore.
I got rid of most of my hyperfeminine clothes too.
Courtesy of Rachel Charlene Lewis
I’m trying to be more critical of my own internalized femme phobia.
Why do I associate bras with straightness?
I recognize the issues with that, and why its problematic.
Courtesy of Rachel Charlene Lewis
I started small, choosing a plain, black bralette to wear on day one.
It was $3 and the lack of lace and padding made it feel more neutral to me.
Its hardly a bra at all.
Courtesy of Rachel Charlene Lewis
Wearing thebraletteitself was mostly just…strange.
For day three and four, I stuck with bralettes.
One was a more subtle, dusty pink, and another was gray with a thicker white band.
By day three, I was used to the feeling of fabric wrapped around my chest.
To me, my chest looked odd pushed up and out, which I thought was interesting.
I think intentionally surrounding myself with queer media has made natural boobs seem more, well, natural.
Ultimately, the bralettes were okay.
(Not that theres anything wrong with being a feminist and wearing a bra.)
By day five, I was ready for more of a challenge.
I decided to go for it and dug up an old bra Ive had since before college.
I also wore it to grab coffee and do work with a friend.
This one was the hardest to test.
I felt like I was sending the wrong message to the world.
I felt embarrassed, almost, like I was lying to myself or other people about who I was.
I didnt want my partner to see me in it.
It felt like stepping into a skin that just didnt fit anymore.
Why was I letting such an innocent piece of fabric cause me so much stress?
Wearing a bra felt like going against some intrinsic part of myself.
Kesiena, a writer and graduate student, agrees.
My lesbian sexuality definitely influences how I feel about bras," she says.
“I hate that my body is resolutely feminine, even though I’m not a particularly feminine woman.
Even a lot of sports bras are very boob shaped.
[But] Iwanta bra that pushes them down.
Not everyone struggles with bras in the same way.
For some, its more the portrayal of bras and what they mean that causes mixed feelings.
For much of my life, Ive seen lingerie advertised in a very specific, hyper-feminine way.
But none of those things interest me, so why would I wear one?
Would I ever wear a bra again on a regular basis?
The reasons why anyone, queer or straight, wears a bra differs for everyone.
But for some people, that relationship is one that shifts just as gender and sexuality does.
I also reserve the right to change my mind on the matter at a later date.
So Im not taking bras completely off the table.
*Name has been changed.
