She also shared the best advice shes ever received.
I could be free.
And this is me, and let’s just see where this goes.
Ali Krieger/Variety/Alex Livesey-FIFA/Getty Images/Amanda K Bailey
[intro music plays]
Our first guest is SELF’s January cover star Ali Krieger.
Ali, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for having me.
Rachel: Of course.
So let’s get into it.
Ali: I, um, I was shy.
I was reserved, um, somewhat calm.
That’s definitely not how I am on the, on the soccer field.
Rachel:(laughs).
Ali:But I, I just followed my brother around all the time.
So we had to really, we had a really good childhood.
I feel like everything was at our fingertips.
We grew up in, you know, uh, Dumfries in Northern Virginia.
Rachel:That’s so cute.
And he’s 13 months older than you, right?
Ali:Yes, yes.
We’re 13 months apart.
Rachel:That’s amazing.
When did you start playing soccer?
Ali:I played soccer when I was about five or six.
Rachel:That’s really cute.
Well, I, I guess, I guess you did catch up to him eventually.
Ali:(laughs).
Rachel:(laughs).
Ali:I think just only controlling the controllables.
I think throughout life, you know, you have to fight through adversity.
You endure a lot mentally, physically, emotionally, especially within sport.
Rachel:That’s really great.
And you mentioned you were shy.
Was there anything that helped you kind of come out of your shell a little bit?
Ali:Um, and I felt comfortable in that.
So, um, he would always do the talking for me.
Ali:Yeah, for sure.
And I didn’t really understand it.
I just thought men could be together.
I then, you know, felt that there was something about me that might want to discover more.
And I just kind of went for it.
And played in the NWSL.
But that was my, you know, that was a partnership where I felt super confident, comfortable.
Ali:Playing at the highest level, you just dunno how people are going to react.
Ali:And so I was more aware of that.
Um, but then in 2019, we just felt like, you know what F it.
If you don’t like it, then bye.
And so I think in 2019 was when we came out, um, as engaged.
And then, um, the response was incredible.
We even had more opportunities-
Rachel:That’s amazing.
Ali:… after the, we made this announcement and not everyone goes through that.
Not everyone has that experience.
And you have to double-check that it’s what you want, not what anybody else wants.
That’s really nice.
It’s really scary, es- especially when the stakes are high like that.
Like, but, you know, that’s the reality.
And just like kept, you know, didn’t think about-
Rachel:… it again.
It’s not, you’re not losing anything.
You have, you get to open yourself up to something new and that’s so special.
Like this is, these are a few answers now that I can take with me.
What am I doing?"
Why am I feeling this way?
This is weird."
I could be free and this is me."
Ali:“And let’s just see where this goes.”
And, um-
Ali:Yeah.
And I, I really am so grateful for that experience.
And it just, you know, it was a really difficult year for me.
Um, slowly but surely, I, you know, stopped getting called in.
Um, and I didn’t really get a reason for that.
There was never really a, you know, kind of like a closure.
And I was devastated.
I didn’t get called back for a whole year and a half, almost two years.
And I’m, like I said before, I just made it difficult for them to ignore me.
And so ultimately my coach at the time gave me a call.
I’m in a different you know, um, you know, mentality.
I am super focused on where I’m at.
I don’t wanna bring up the past.
Let’s just like move forward.
What do you need me to do?
I’m here for the team, I’m here for you, and let’s make it happen.
And so I ended up getting called back into the last camp before the team was chosen for 2019.
And I actually, um, I didn’t play as often as they did in 2015 and 2011.
But I did get a chance to go into, um, two games.
It was like a concussion so, right before halftime.
And I couldn’t believed that.
I was just like, “Alright, this is why I’m here.
This is exactly why.”
[inaudible 00:15:41] you spent years preparing for this.
Like, just these, these 45 minutes.
“This is why I’m on this team right now.”
And we were 0-0 at the time.
So I was so grateful that I could help the team win.
Ali:And we won two, nothing.
And so that, that’s kind of that experience.
But I always tried to stay positive.
But I immediately changed that perspective.
I, trust me, it was a really dark time.
Ali:And I remember, you know, uh, uh, just like wanting to just quit.
And I was so frustrated, I was so angry for the longest time.
But then I said, “You know what?
Like, that’s not me.
I, I know how good I can be and I know how I can help this team.
Rachel:… or go to the gym right away.
But you’re like, “I, I’ll, I’ll get there eventually.
But it sounds like you really brought a level of focus that I’m just sort of in awe.
Ali:It is.
It’s really difficult.
But you just gotta push through.
And then, you know, as athletes, you know, everything’s at risk, right?
But it’s worth it in the end if it works out.
And so you never know that answer until you try.
So as people listening, probably know you are mom to Sloan and Ocean, who are very young.
So you were a new mom not so long ago, which is a famously really difficult period.
And I’m curious what you, what advice you would give yourself looking back now?
You could prep all you want, prepare for, you know, anything and everything.
And, um, you always have to think of what if as a mom.
So, uh, it’s kind of like a spontaneous day-to-day.
I, I never know what the day’s gonna bring.
And, you know, all the meals are gonna work out.
And, and patience is gonna be key.
I would tell myself just allow that to happen.
And, um, and just embrace them more instead of tell them what to do about it.
And those are just as important as being happy and excited and joyful.
Rachel:I think that’s great advice for new parents.
So I think just.
And just giving them time to process.
I, uh, maybe we can fact check this.
I said like, “You know, what do you see?
Do I hang out my boots?
Like, am I that bad?
Like, am I not… Like what am I not doing?
Like what am I not seeing?
Rachel: Rachel here.
So we did fact check this, just to be sure.
And that is how I run my life.
And, uh, it all made sense then.
Rachel:Well, that is a really lovely note to end this on, and really good advice.
I think that can apply to a lot of different situations.
Ali:Thank you.
Rachel:Thank you so much.
Advice To My Younger Self was produced by Hayley Fager and Rachel Miller, and edited by Hayley Fager.
Peyton Hayes is our audio production coordinator, and Jake Loomis is our audio engineer.
Caitlin Brody and Sergio Kletnoy are our talent bookers.
Transcript provided by Rev.com.
