Here, eight women share what they wish they’d known before embarking upon the IVF journey.
I wish I’d known how it would change my relationship with my husband.
It turned into a wonderful experience (minus the needles and being tired all the time).
Jessica F., 29
2.
I wish I’d known that for me, adoption was the answer.
I also did afrozen embryotransfer with donor embryos.
I wish I’d known from the start how happy I would be as an adoptive mom.
I adopted my son after my treatments failed, and I now have the most amazing 8-year-old boy.
He was worth the trouble."
Teena M., 48
3.
I wish I’d known how often I’d fail.
“I can sum up IVF in three (overused) words:blood, sweat, and tears.
But it is something you absolutely must take step by step.
Katie A., 34
4.
I wish I’d known to get other opinions.
“My husband and I went through three cycles of IVF.
I recommend people do whatever they can to stay sane during the process and be extra good to themselves!
Also know that its OK to get a second or even third opinion.
Many patients feel beholden to their doctors and dont trust their guts.
Its vital that you feel a connection with your doctor and are enthusiastic about the protocol they are recommending.
Its an emotional and important journey, and you should feel good about who is treating you.”
Jennifer P., 42
5.
I wish I’d known that it doesn’t always take the first time around.
“I went through five rounds of IVF and finally just had a baby.
Initially, I started off hopefully.
Then I would feel sad, then I would feel angry.
I also felt like a total failure and would get really down on myself.
I wish I’d known so much: Don’t count on the first round working.
Go to a counselor to help you sort through your feelings.
Stick with self-preservation, avoid baby showers, and stay away from social media if you oughta.
And know your limit mentally and financially.
Once I was getting ready to throw in the towel, IVF worked.”
M. Lynn, 38
6.
I wish I’d known that it helps to talk about it.
“It was a long road of tryingand losingbefore we explored IVF.
Most of my pregnancies (there have been many) self-terminated before the eight-week mark.
But just being able to talk to someone about it is helpful.
Everyone I know who’s gone through IVF has had their own unique experience.
Monica H., 38
7.
I’m glad I knew that different clinics do things differently.
“I had several pre-existing health conditions that made it unsafe to carry my own child.
We went through IVF so we could have a gestational surrogate carry our child.
My husband and I were very hopeful.
We knew this was our family’s story and that made it special.
We had to nail it.
My research uncovered that IVF philosophies differ from clinic to clinic.
But every woman is different.
The clinic I ended up choosing did cycles and procedures according to when MY body was ready.
Our IVF doctor and nurses came in on the July 4th holiday for our transfer!
Now we have 15-month old twins, one boy and one girl.”
Rachel K., 38
Quotes have been edited and condensed for clarity.