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Candlelit tables for two.
Designed by Stephanie Indrajo
Marriage licenses with two lines.
Artsy salt-and-pepper shakers locked in an embrace.
But even though it may be common, that doesnt mean its easily understood.
Kitty Stryker (right) with her wife, Jetta.
Thats partially because each polyamorous relationship isunique.
Relationships, too, can vary.
San Francisco
Married with a boyfriend
Kitty Stryker (right) with her wife, Jetta.
Kitty Stryker with her boyfriend, Ape
Since she was a teenager, Stryker identified as polyamorousand has practiced it throughout various relationships.
Why should I have to choose?
While her wife and her boyfriend are not partners, Stryker says that they are all friends.
Page Turner, author ofPoly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory
Its different for everyone, but for me, its essential that everyone get along.
It avoids a lot of clashing when everyone can directly communicate.
Its not necessarily spontaneous.
Jase Lindgren and Dedecker Winston
And Stryker admits its not for everyone.
Even seeing your partner platonically cuddling someone else, what does that mean or bring up for you?
Turns out, it didbut she doesnt have any regrets.
It sounds so minor, but talking through those issues makes a big difference, says Turner.
If I do come home before planned, Ill text first or make a lot of noise.
The emotional check-ins can make polyamory more labor intensive, emotionally, than traditional monogamous relationships, Turner explains.
Everythings on the table, she says.
And sex, says Turner, is only one part of the lifestyle.
For example, during my heaviest dating period, I was dating three men and two women.
And I was having sex less than I am now, with a husband and dating a woman!
So it just depends, she explains.
They started their podcast as a way to dispel some common misconceptions about the lifestyle.
To me, polyamory isnt something practiced by a couple, but practiced by individuals, says Lindgren.
Swingingand certain types of open relationships center around a couple.
Lindgren and Winston also want to dispel the myth that polyamory is in some way selfish.
“I’ve heard polyamory explained as ‘legalized cheating’ before and I can’t stand that explanation.
It’s completely wrong and very misleading.Cheatingmeans you have broken an agreement you’ve made in a relationship.
In my experience, the most successful polyamorous relationships are the ones that have the fewest rules and limitations.
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