I was confident I could do it, too.
My last record was four years old.
Id ridden a 45-footer in South Africa in 2009.
Id been in Nazare for about 16 days, waiting, training and fighting off a bad cold.
And then a storm came, bringing with it a big swell.
I wasnt exactly excited.
Instead, I felt stressed, like I was going to explode.
It was a combination of everything: Will the waves be good?
Will they be rideable?
Will it be too windy?
Will I be good?
Im so used to extreme pain, though.
If I have the strength to stand, I know I can surf.
As we were getting organized, I ate my breakfasta ham and cheese sandwichstanding up.
Once we got on the jet ski, things went pretty quickly.
You just want to get out there fast and see the waves.
Everyone argues about how big they were that day.
Some people say 60 to 80 feet, others say 80 to 100 feet.
My adrenalin was pumping.
I was so excitedand nervous.
I didnt exactly choose the wave I rode.
And it was a big one.
At that point, its all instinct.
you could see everything, but its pretty loud.
Youre just pointing down, going super-fastabout 40 miles per hour.
And youre constantly negotiating the bumps.
You have to land on the other side of every bump.
On the third bump, I broke my fibulaI think from twisting in my bootiesand thats when I fell.
It pushed me underwater, but I popped back up, still unaware Id broken my ankle.
When the next wave crashed on me, it felt like I literally got hit by a truck.
It even ripped off my life jacket.
Underwater, I had no idea which way was up.
I thought, This could be it.
Somehow, though, I managed to grab the rope and he towed me toward the shore.
Carlos jumped off his jet ski and pulled me onto the beach, where they did CPR on me.
It was great to be alive, of course, but it was also shit.
I couldnt move at all.
I was struggling to breath on my own.
I was having an asthma attack.
Even today, Im still not quite sure if I died that day or just went into cardiac arrest.
I didnt see the other side.
I didnt have an “experience.”
I only remember blackness.
Afterwards, a few respected surfers criticized me for trying to do what I did.
It was hurtful, but also inspiring.
In every career, women are still criticized more.
Since were often the minority, everything we do gets noticed more.
When we fail, we fail bigger.
When we succeed, we succeed bigger.
Its that The Girl fell.
I try not to think about that too much.
Ive spent the past 18 months recovering, and Im still not 100%.
Ive had two back surgeries.
Now, Im finally surfing again.
Im also doing physical therapy every afternoon and stability and core training or Pilates every night.
My plan is to ride the big waves again in October.
Since that day in Nazare, Ive learned so much about myself.
I try not to want anything anymore, because wanting something so badly almost killed me.
I often ask myself why I got this second chance.
What did I do to deserve it?
After all, I already got the biggest present of all: Im alive.
Photo Credit: Instagram (@maya)
