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Its the first team meeting of the season.
Were all packed into the Bubble, waiting for Coach Zem.
An impossible dream, realized.
Theres definitely been more work thats gone into getting me here.
Im so profoundly grateful for this support; it has given me a life-changing opportunity.
I feel so much excitement, so much momentum moving forward.
Ive also had to complete a lot of documentation, to officially join the female team.
As it turns out, the NCAA has requirements for transgender athletes across all college sports.
My testosterone levels must stay below 5 nanomoles per liter.
Thankfully, Ive already been following these NCAA rules without realizing it.
My trips to Planned Parenthood and my HRT regimen have kept me on track.
So, finally, everything is in order.
Even still, Im a little nervous.
Most of the returning girls know me and support me.
Im especially worried about new students, who definitely dont know my story.
Im worried that they wont be accepting, that they wont want me on their team.
Coach Zem walks into the room.
I feel my heart flutter.
I know whats coming.I want to introduce you all to CeCe Telfer.
Now, if anyone has any questions about that, they can come talk to me in my office.
Just like she has your back.
Because were a family here.
Thats whatit means to be a team.
I look around the room.
All right, now lets have an amazing season!
Everyone claps and cheers.
Lillian looks into my eyes and smiles.
Later, as were all leaving the Bubble, Coach Zem pulls me aside.
The Reggie Lewis Track & Athletic Center in Roxbury, Massachusetts.
Its Day One of the NEICAAA Indoor Track & Field Championships.
Today weve got prelims, tomorrow will be the finals.
This will be my first competition running with my fellow female athletes.
Im surrounded by my teammates as we file into the stadium.
We walk through the massive glass entryway, and into an atrium thats flooded with light.
My heart is in my throat.
Weve become so close during preseason trainingI call her my Mexican sister.
She has long brown hair, beautiful dark eyes, and a bright smile.
Shes from Queretaro but came to the US to follow her dream of becoming an Olympian high jumper.
She is such a talented athlete, with an incredible work ethic.
On the field, shes one hundred percent focused.
But off the field, she loves to joke and laugh with me and Lillian.
Were a small little track family, and I love these girls so much.
I dont know if I could do this without their support.
Already, people are packed into the stands.
I recognize many of the athletes from other schools.
I worry theres going to be hate aimed in my direction.
How are you doing?Lillian asks, as we start stretching.
Im okay,I reply, grateful that I have Lillian and Paola by my side.
Even still, I feel a twinge of loneliness.
Yes, Im finally on the female track team.
I see Paola over by where the guys are warming up, talking to her boyfriend Trevor.
Hes the captain for the mens track team, and weve been running together for years.
Hes an incredible athletehardcore, fast, and aggressive.
He desperately wants to qualify for nationals.
We all do, of course, but Trevor seems to be gunning for it the hardest.
On the track, time for the womens 200 meters, the announcer says over the loudspeaker.
I dont have time to worry about everyone else.
I have to focus on my event.
And you know what?
If people want to talk shit, thats fine with me.
They can worry about whatever they want to worry about.
I crouch down, into my starting block.
I shift my thoughts to the people who do have my back.
All my supporters that helped me arrive here today.
Im going to win this race for them.
Boom!The gun goes off.
Im out of the blocks.
Eating up that track.
Pushing like Ive never pushed.
I was born to run with women.
I cross the finish line.
I come in first place.
First in my heat, but also first out of all the women in 200-meter prelims.
Ive made it to finals.
Now, I feel like Im on a roll.
Then, its time for the 60-meter hurdles.
I know Ive got this.
Im ready to crush it.
I leave it all on the track.
Come in first in my heat.
Fourth in the overall prelims, but still a great time.
Ive made it to the finals in this event too.
And Im ready to kill it.
As we pass athletes from another school, I hear one of them mutter something under his breath.
But I rise above.
Still, it hurts.
I look back over my shoulder.
Which is when I see something unexpected: Trevor, confronting this guy, standing up for me.
They exchange a few tense words, then he jogs to catch up with our group again.
Fucking asshole,he mutters under his breath.
What were they saying?I ask.
Thanks, I say.
He smiles at me.You killed it out there today.
Finally, I feel seen by Trevor.
This warms my heart a bit.
I never thought he would be the one to stand up for me.
Maybe I was wrong, maybe he does really support me.
First up, the 200 meters.
I line up with the eight other women whove made it to the finals.
Suddenly, Im struck by emotion.
Tears well in my eyes.
Regardless, Im grateful to be here.
This is a meet Ill never forget.
The meet where I competed as myself for the first time.
I wipe my tears.
Im not here to cry.
Im here to win this event.
The gun goes off.
I win the race.
But the days not over yet.
I stay in competition mode.
Its time for the 60-meter hurdles.
I did what needed to be done.
I won first place in both my events.
After the 60 meters, Trevor comes bounding up to me.CeCe!he yells.
Your times qualified you for nationals.
Ive qualified for nationals?I yell.
Youve qualified for nationals!
Lillian, Paola, and Trevor, all surround me, loudly celebrating and laughing.
I feel so much joy at this moment.
And once again, Im surprised by Trevor.
He didnt qualify for nationals today.
Its okaythere are still many other meets in the season where hell have a chance.
But he put all that aside to acknowledge my achievement.
This makes me feel seen, supported, and loved.
The backlash has started.
My coaches, my athletic director, even the president of Franklin Pierce warned me that this might happen.
But now Im not so sure.
My coach is getting death threats, his wife too.
They just had a baby and people online have threatened their entire family.
And, of course, Im also getting death threats.
I have a go at keep my head down.
To shut out the noise from the haters.
To just focus on training.
Since Ive already qualified for nationals, my coaches are being selective about which meets they send me to.
But that, of course, isnt true.
I lose plenty of races to other female athletes.
I also worry for my safety at the meets I attend, but I push through.
The stress is high.
Im scared that people might somehow figure out where I live.
That one of the online threats could be made real.
That someone might find my dorm.
I cry every day before practice.
I cry every day after practice.
Sometimes it feels like the only time Im not crying is at practice itself.
Why dont you come stay with me, in our guest bedroom, for a little bit?
I think that could be a good idea,I say.
Soon, Im overcome with emotion.
Not Sasha-Lee or her family, not my coaches, not my teammates.
The NCAA has not wavered in their commitment to allow me to compete as myself.
People who love the young woman I am, who will do anything to see her succeed.
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