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For many, the wordhomeconjures up feelings of safety, comfort, and securitythe ultimate cozy-blanket vibe.
Jordan Moss
Hearing a request like this can be heartbreaking, inconvenient, and sometimes a bit hazardous, she explains.
It can feel really, really badnot only unsettling but hurtful.
She adds, Theres a lot wrapped up in that moment when someone says they want to go home.
This is what they said.
Your loved one is in the same situation.
After making the trip, their mother saidyou guessed itI want to go home.
The goal is to do this effectively enough that they forget they wanted to leave.
I will ask them to tell me about their home: What street do you live on?
Do you have a porch?
Do you have a garage?
Its also okay to bring up a totally random topic to distract them, LaFleur says.
or Oh my gosh!
can often be enough to redirect the persons attention.
Then you could say whatever you want, she says.
Youre directing them to something else, and they may forget they wanted to leave.
Youre just trying to get through the moment, she says.
Just venture to push it back a few hours, LaFleur suggests
4.
I have snacks out all the timeon paper plates, everywhere, she tells SELF.
Im like, Oh, Mom, look, a banana!
For Dr. Edgerly, peanut butter cups were worth their weight in gold.
Its not always rocket science, she says.
Ask for their help
Another strategy is seeing if your loved one can help you with a chore.
Or sometimes shell ask her mom to help fold laundry.
Hughess mom has always disliked clutter, so these types of tasks really appeal to her.
Hughes worked hard tocreate a place where her momcould go when she longed for home.
I even put out a sign, and it said Kristys Apartment.
And then, just that quick, her entire disposition has switched around, Hughes says.
It will take their minds off of what theyre asking repeatedly or what theyre saying at that moment.
Hughes sometimes puts on workout videos for her mom.
Then well wrap up the door, and shes satisfied.
Take them for a short drive
Head out on a brief trip if it’s possible for you to.
LaFleur has a beautician who comes in to care for residents in her memory care home.
A staff member drove her to get her favorite ice cream and then brought her back.
Thats all she needed to reset, LaFleur says.
You have to be really creative and flexible.
Not every response is going to work, and when you could, you pivot to something else.
While that may work, sometimes it can also make things worse.
That just creates conflict, LaFleur says.
Theyre never ever going to say, Oh my gosh, youre right.
What was I thinking?
In fact, they may get upset or belligerent about it.
Lewis recommends additional precautions like installing cameras and child safety gates, as well as hiding any keys.
I call it dementia proofing, Lewis says.
Its almost like a circadian rhythm, Thompson says.
Everyone has experienced that itch to get moving before and it shouldnt be dismissed, according to Thompson.
People with dementia can often still understand verbal and nonverbal cues, Lewis says.
Communication is everything, she says.
The way that you approach them [should be] out of love and empathy, Lewis says.
LaFleur suggests excusing yourself to go to the bathroom.
Longer breaks are important as well.
Getting help from family members, volunteers, or hired aids can give you some much-needed time off.
Caregiving is brutal, and no one can do it aloneno one, LaFleur says.
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