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Take it from Jenny S., 28, who has been best friends with her roommate for decades.
Eugene Mymrin / Getty Images
Theyve lived together on and off for years.
Weve been through it all together, and weve always been there for each other, Jenny tells SELF.
Then their state lifted stay-at-home restrictions.
I would never have expected to be so ideologically split, she says.
Shes not the only one.
Diana S., 45, returned from an international trip just as COVID-19 restrictions were enacted in her state.
Unaware that those restrictions recommended that she quarantine, Diana went to thegrocery storesoon after arriving home.
Save for a few text messages, they havent spoken since.
Complicating matters, just because states are easing restrictions doesnt make the virus less harmful.
The virus is still the same.
Start by asking sincere questions about where your loved one is coming from.
In other words, you need empathy.
Ask earnest questions and really listen to their answers while being as open and understanding as possible.
Questions like, How have you really been doing through the pandemic?
How has all of this been sitting with you?
are a good place to start, Franco says, but it will really depend on your relationship.
When you share your concerns, also share your vulnerability.
Countering your loved ones concerns with criticism or impersonal facts and statistics isnt likely to work well.
Why is this personally affecting you?
Whats going on for you throughout this pandemic?
Franco offers this example script: Im really worried for my mom.
This kind of vulnerability can help the other person have empathy and hear you better too.
Interrogate any judgmental feelings you may have.
Its completely okay tofeeljudgmental, Bonior says.
Its a natural human response.
Wudan Y., 30, can relate.
Shes been monitoring friends and acquaintances on social media to see how closely theyre following social distancing recommendations.
I find myself judging people for the things that theyre doing, Wudan tells SELF.
She says its impacting her ability to have relationships with people.
Thats understandable, and shaming yourself for having these kinds of feelings wont help.
With that said, judgment can lead to blaming.
And you have to want to understand the other person to make any headway.
(Which may mean you oughta wait a bit andcenter yourselfbefore talking to your loved one.)
Know that these conversations will likely be more effective with your close online grid.
These conversations work when we believe that theyre coming from a place of love, Franco says.
Figure out your boundaries and express them clearly.
Thats completely okay, Franco says.
She recommends asking yourself if theres a middle ground you’ve got the option to reach.
A lot of times theres a little bit of wiggle room within a boundary, Bonior says.
Your viewpoint today might be very different than it is in two weeks, Bonior says.
Weve all had to adjust on the fly.
For example, would you be comfortable meeting at a distance of 10 or 12 feet?
Take that information into account when deciding whats comfortable for you, Bonior says.
That might mean keeping interactions with those people virtual until the risk has gone down.
Finally, its important that you communicate your boundaries clearly, Bonior says.
If youre the one craving social interaction IRL, express why.
Maybe youre the person ready to start expanding your social bubble, and your loved ones are reluctant.
This can be really painful.
Franco says its important to share your loneliness or any other related feelings with your loved ones.
If youre having a hard time staying at home because youre lonely, those feelings are valid.
The isolation involved with this pandemic can understandablytake a real toll on mental health.
The basic self-care avenue is super important, Bonior says.
Bonior specifically recommends looking for some kind of personal project that it’s possible for you to work on.
Its not about being super productive, but rather finding a new way to occupy yourself.
If you mess up, let your friend or family member know you want to fix it.
Tell them what youve taken away from your conversations about how theyre feeling and what theyre going through.
Let them know you want to fix what went wrong.
Your loved one may respond quickly to that, or you may have to wait.
Remember that you cant control another persons behavior.
Accept your powerlessness, Franco says.
We cant make other people do what we want them to.
