If you have difficulty conceiving, its comforting to know thatin vitro fertilizationis an option.
That said, no one ever actuallywantsto go through IVF.
And it doesnt help that people dont really know how to act around you when youre going through it.
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Karen says her friends and family tried to be supportive but ultimately, they didnt get it.
I was more reluctant to talk about it and my friends were less likely to ask, she says.
Im sure they felt awkward and didnt know what to say.
And, even if that silence is well-intentioned, it can leave the person going through IVF feeling alone.
I felt like a pariah.
I went home and cried for a solid hour, she says.
The statement assumes they were ignorant to their options and discounts their desire to have a biological child.
Also, he points out, adoption is not for everyone.
A little empathy can go a long way.
a reproductive endocrinologist atPrelude Fertility, tells SELF.
Infertility is a true medical diagnosis with well-established causes and treatment.
Plus, as Karen points out, its really, really hard to relax when youre going through IVF.
Dr. Clark agrees: There is no way that a couple undergoing IVF will be stress-free.
This kind of verbal commitment can help them feel supported, loved, and acknowledged, Dr. Chang says.
Karen says she recently had a friend who ran out of embryos and was devastated.
Karen didnt know what to say, so she was just there to listen.
There really is a grieving process and people need to understand that, she says.
She was very patient and always available, and I knew that, Dr. Clark says.
Before resorting to IVF, most couples have tried many things to get pregnant, Dr. Clark says.
Don’t ever offer unsolicited advice about trying to conceivethe less said the better.
All I did was think about IVF and it seriously bummed me out!
Unfortunately, IVF isnt a guarantee, and success rates vary with age.
Staying upbeat is important, but your friend is also aware that it might not work.
Try something like your doctors sound like they know what theyre doing!
It is perfectly OK to pass these up.
That was perfect, she says.
If you slip up and say something on the “don’t” list, don’t freak out.
“Even though we’re hopped up on hormones, we’re still your friend,” says Sarah.
“We ultimately know that you’re just trying to help.”
*Name has been changed.
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