What isonline datingwithout the cacophony of terms used to describe the experience?
If this all sounds like a terrible way to bewooed, hold on to your smartphones, friends.
Its mildly irritating at best.
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(For same-sex matches,either person can start the conversation.)
The first time this happened, I asked follow-up questions: How frequently are you swiping?
Did you know you could control the flow of matches by, uh, swiping right less?
Are you unaccustomed to this much attention from interested people?
I unmatched, thinking this was an isolated instance.
By my third experience with whelming, I was over trying to figure it out.
I was, for lack of a better term, underwhelmed.
In one situation, Quinyetta matched with someone who lived in a different city.
They kept in touch because shed made plans to travel to his city for work in the coming weeks.
When she finally asked him why, he blamed his aloofness on his other matches.
You wouldnt understand, Quinyetta remembers being told.
He wrote back, I really like you, and I do think youre a dope person.
These interactions make me a bit sad.
Admittedly, I cant say for sure that these overwhelmed folks all have nefarious intentions.
I think its an ego thing, Quinyetta says.
Men want us to know theyve got options.
But its also possible that online daters reallyarestressed about all their potential choices.
A quick journey intoRedditreveals posters who identify as men wondering why theyre getting so few matches online.
The thing is that as an over-seasoned online dater, I can totally relate to being overwhelmed.
There have been times when Ive stopped swiping because all of my matches have seemed indistinct.
Butthis is where whelmers and I differI didnt talk to my new matches about it.
Naturally, I complained to my friends instead.
Sharing these concerns with mea literal stranger and potential matchdoesnt make me feel like an empowered dater.
If anything, it makes me painfully aware of how deeply impersonal online dating can be.
Assume weve all got matches, Quinyetta advises.
Its not something that needs to be said.
