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These days, however, you might pick up journals for other reasons.
Juan Moyano/Adobe Stock
Yet theres one journaling topic you might not hear about as often: sex.
Yes, Im suggesting you keep track of your sex life.
Below, youll find a few good reasons to start a sex journal and some tips for using one.
Here are a few reasons why a sex journal can be so revelatory.
Part of the reason journaling works is that it encourages expressive writing and helps people contextualizepast emotional experiences.
No matter what your sex life looks like, a sex journal can help you process it.
Maybe slow, sensual sex makes you feel connected with your partner.
Or maybe you feel closest to them when the sex is rough.
Keeping track of what happens and how you feel during sex can make these patterns clearer.
Fear around hurting a partners feelings can keep couples from being open about their likes and dislikes too.
Here are a few ways you’ve got the option to use your sex journal.
The beautiful thing about journaling is that theres no right or wrong way to journal, Francis says.
Your sex journal can be whatever you want it to be.
When youre getting started, it can help to have a list of questions in mind as youre freewriting.
You might ask yourself what you liked most about the last time you had sex.
Or you might think about what felt like it was on the edge of your comfort zone.
Other questions can include: What else would you have wanted to happen?
There are tons of other questions you might ask yourself about how you felt during sex.
Feel free to make up your own questions.
A sex journal doesnt have to focus on sex youve had with other people.
you’ve got the option to also write aboutmasturbation, fantasies, or even dreams.
Dont feel that you have to live all of your fantasies.
One of the challenging things about doing it together is being honest, Joy says.
When youre writing a journal just for yourself, it feels like a private inner world.
If you feel you might behonestin a joint journal, go for it.
You should also determine how you want to read the journal together, she says.
I love chicken parm.
Chicken parm is delicious.
But sometimes I might want a littleeggplantrollatini.
One way to go about it is to structure your sex menu like a three-course meal.
Your entree might be vaginal or anal sex, or it might include sex toys.
Finally, dessert might involve cuddling or some otheraftercareactivity.
Taking out your art supplies can be a fun activity to add to your journal.
you could do this alone by drawing your own body, or you could do it with a partner.
Try not to worry too much about your artistic skills, Hochberger says.
Instead, pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues.
Take notice of, Hey, when I kissed or caressed their neck, they really liked that.
And take as much time as you need.
And try not to look at your body map as a one-and-done.
A sex journal is only helpful if it feels good or useful to write it.
Also dont assign blame if you and your partner seem to have different libidos.
As a bonus, your sex journal can help you better address your concerns.
Remember: This journal is a space for you to reflect on your own sexual pleasure and experiences.
