I had beendatingAndrew for 33 days and had been constipated for four.
And all of thatallof ithad yet to leave my bowels.
When Andrew and I started dating, I felt theconstipationlooming.
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I tried everything to get myself to maintain a regular bathroom schedule.
I tookfiber supplements, drankgreen juice, and guzzled coffee to no avail.
No matter what I tried, it did not work.
I could not go.
And honestly it makes sense.
Havinghealthy, regular bowel movementscan be affected bystress, what you eat, and your daily routine.
Dating, in my experience, completely destroys all three.
First we should talk about stress.
Where those spasms happen determines whether youre left with constipation or diarrhea.
If the spasms cause your entire colon to contract, everything will be pushed out quicklydiarrhea.
If the spasms only happen in one area of your colon, it can hold everything uphence constipation.
When it comes to nerves, a new relationship is more like a marathon than a sprint.
There is no peak point after which the anxiety of it fades and quite frankly no moment of relief.
Its the same reason why I leave the tap running.
As confident and comfortable as one might feel, themind-body connectionis stronger.
After the first date, she started having a daily 11 a.m. bout of diarrhea.
Id take a sip of coffee and be like, nope, gotta go.
I normally dont really poop after coffee or at work…its usually later in the day.
And after a month, the second the relationship officially ended, my 11 a.m. bathroom trips stopped.
No, the friend assured me.
There were not.)
It turned out that his half-hearted actions were not sitting well with him.
And its not just the stress of a relationship that makes us sick.
In the beginning of a relationship you go out.
Its what you do.
You eat at restaurants and drink at bars.
There were more: Andrew stays up late, so I did too.
My once-cherished morning routine was now nonexistent.
AsSELF previously reported, activity helps to keep things moving.
Well, I hardly ever made it to yoga.
Dating Andrew, in the fecal sense, was a recipe for disaster.
One would think the two could coexist.
After this conversation I spent a lot of time trying to be more in tune with my bowels.
There were other pendulum-like swings too: I gained a few pounds and then lost them again.
I make it a point to eat more raw vegetables.
Recently I even started takingadult ballet.
It turns out that the body responds to dating not unlike the heart.
There is a physical adjustment period just as much as there is an emotional one.
Breakfast, coffee, writing.
Finally, alone in the apartment, I went.
When Andrew came home, I told him the good news.
Im so proud of you, he said, and patted me on the back.
Later that week he told me hed gotten me a gift.
He opened the bathroom door, beaming, and there it was.
A push present, of sorts.
My very own Squatty Potty.
Beginnings are weird, but ideally we find ourselves again.
Now, I poop in his bathroom all the time.
It feels like a miracle, but Ive been regular again.
Slowly, we adjust.
