Its the second set of forms the fertility center has sent because I conveniently misplaced the first.
If I sign these papers, I will never have another child.
My whole life, I always wanted three children.The decision to have children was an easy one for me.
But it didnt happen.
Not on its own anyway.
If I wanted children, which I so desperately did, then this is what had to be done.
So I did it.
I went offthe birth control pillin February of 2009, the month my husband and I got married.
Then my period stopped.
One day I met my mother at Walmart after work.
But I was sure it was a mistake.
I argued, “No, this is Katie Armenti.
I think you have the wrong person.”
She wept with tears of joy, relief, and excitement.
And there it was.
Just like I knew it would be.
To this day, it brings tears to my eyes.
And the further I went on my fertility journey, the more it pissed me off.
Later that day, I received the inevitable phone call.
A man from the lab calling to apologize and tell me I was given the wrong results.
With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I whispered, Its okay.
Thus began our search for the fertility clinic that would make our dreams come true.
The next three years, my entire life wasconsumed by IVF.Blood work and ultrasound appointments every other day.
Modesty is quickly thrown out the window for a girl going through IVF.
Time was always of the essence.
By the time I gave birth to my second baby I had gone through seven rounds.
Along my fertility journey, I endured the heartache of two miscarriages.
I was besought by questions: Why cant my body do the one job it was made to do?
How is it possible for women to get pregnant by accident when Im trying so hard and cant?
Why cant my body hang on to what my heart is clinging to for dear life?
IVF is not for the faint of heart.It will knock a woman down over and again.
Its hard on a marriage, too.
Infertility will either make a relationship or break it.
And there were many cycles.
The delivery of my second baby was truly a nightmare.
It was a complicated delivery and I hemorrhaged and needed emergency surgery to stop the bleeding.
So although my journey with IVF is over…who knows?
I guess well always have hope.
Katie writes about her IVF journey and motherhood atkatiearmenti.com.
Photo Credit: Photos courtesy of the author
