When I was was 16, I was diagnosed withMayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome.
My definition of what it meant to be a woman evaporated.
Now I was asking myself questions like,Am I a woman?
Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images
Isnt having a uterus the very definition of womanhood?
I chose surgery, and my vagina works really well.
Being different because of MRKH has allowed me to live life on my own terms.
Courtesy of Amy C. Lossie, Ph.D.
Ive been able to travel and develop activities I like to do; Im a big snorkeler.
I also started going to counseling.
My counselor told me it was OK to grieve for my unborn babies, and that was helpful.
Courtesy of Lourdes Ashley Hunter, Ph.D.
I didnt think I deserved that because I didnt have amiscarriageor anything, but she gave me permission.
I poured my heart and soul into it.
Lossie, 50, is president and CEO ofBeautiful You MRKH Foundation
I never came out as trans.
Courtesy of Rebecca L. Gibson
Ive always identified as someone who transcends gender norms, even when I may not have had the language.
There are misconceptions that black trans women are out here manipulating men and being deceptive.
This whole idea of deception is rooted in thinking that women are here to satisfy men.
Women are not here for the gratification of men.
Were not defined by our body parts.
What it means to be a woman or man is not exclusive to physical anatomy.
Womanhood and manhood are social constructs that have changed over time.
I really dont care what other people think about my identity as a black trans woman.
I tend not to engage with people who think I dont have a right to exist.
Thats just wasted energy for me.
If I encounter someone whos transphobic, I know how to turn around and go the other way.
At 42 years old, I know Im alreadyliving longer than many trans women of color.
At any moment, my mother could receive a phone call to come and identify my body.
Im educated: You cant come to me with an argument about my identity.
I already know who I am.
I am a woman, but Im a person first.
Being acknowledged as a human is really core to me.
My decision to get a hysterectomy came in the middle of the night.
I felt like I was going into labor, but I wasnt pregnant.
They also removed my fallopian tubes.
I kept both of my ovaries, which three years later are still functioning very well.
I was able to resolve my uterine issue while not having to deal with earlymenopause.
But after my hysterectomy, this emotional wall came crashing down.
When I saw a friends pregnancy announcement, I was devastated.
Ultimately I realized it was the loss of choice that really got to me.
As time went on, I came to terms with it.
I dont ever want to diminish the way someone feels.
My uterus was ruining every part of my life.
I couldnt go to the bathroom without pain.
I couldnt havesex without pain.
Now I dont have to worry Im going to bleed massive blood clots through my clothes.
I dont have to worry about my bathroom looking like a murder scene.
My uterus was dictating my life.
Having all of that gone has been liberating.
Im definitely not less of a woman.
Gibson, 28, is a womens health advocate in Huntsville, Alabama
Quotes have been edited and condensed.
